How many times can I child say your name?
This weekend my little one was home sick. Thursday when I picked him up from school he seem to have had a slight fever. He had a stuffy runny nose, and a slight cough. Well by Saturday the cough was more consistent and so was his runny nose. Fortunately today he is fine. He slept well through the night, no constant coughing, or trouble breathing, so I was happy about that. But that one thing that I was not happy about was the amount of time my name was called this entire weekend.
I remember the day my little one was born. It was great, scary, nerve wracking and tiresome. I remember leaving the hospital and crying in the car as my husband went into Wendy’s to get us some food. I could not believe I was going home with out any nurses, mother, sister or lactation consultant to help me grow this little boy. I was terrified. I also couldn’t believe that God allowed me, trusted me, to have a human life to guard. Something that precious is a big deal.
Well I eventually got the hang of things. Created my routine. Figured out how things will work when I got back to school. And I also (well did this from the time I was pregnant) talked to my little one because I felt that was what I was suppose to do. I couldn’t wait for the day he talked back. In fact I couldn’t wait for the day he said momma, or mommy, or some form of the word. I remember my friends around me being so happy when their little one said those words and I wanted to feel that joy. Well of course he said Dada first, and some other words, and eventually he said mommy. I was happy. That made it official for me. He recognized me as his mother. He new I was his care taker, that I would love him no matter what. It meant the world to me. But no one ever told me that this word could become very very annoying.
My love hate relationship with the name “Mommy”
This weekend the name became very annoying. Well maybe before this weekend it started to be annoying but I felt bad for feeling this way. He said mommy so many times that I thought my head was going to explode. In fact at one point I wanted to snap and say stop calling me, because I knew he really didn’t want anything. Now please don’t judge me. Don’t tell me how bad of a person I am for even thinking or feeling this way. Don’t tell me anything, because I already judged myself and made my myself feel like crap for feeling these feelings, and you know what, it doesn’t bother me. These are just feelings that you probably felt yourself but did not allow yourself to feel them so you can move on. I’m allowing myself to deal with the feelings so that I can move on and it doesn’t hinder me from being the best mom, wife, woman, person I can be.
Okay so back to mommy. He called my name to tell me he’s hungry, he called my name to tell me he can’t find something, he called my name to tell me the phone is ringing, he called my name to tell me he had to poop, he called my name if he saw a bus, a plane, a bug, everything and anything. He even called my name just to say nothing. Now that’s when I wondered if he new he was annoying me. I just didn’t understand. Why do you have to use Mommy so much. He doesn’t called daddy’s name this much. In fact if both daddy and me are home he will still call Mommy a million times more than daddy. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Him saying mommy use to be sweet nothings whispered into my ears. It use to make me melt. I felt needed. I felt loved. But now, I still feel the same way, but after the 6th time over a one minute period it makes me want to ball up in the bed, shut the door, and play the music really really really loud (I’ve tried that but I still heard him). It reminds me of how much I want to (or need to) get a way and get a life so I can go back to cherishing the sweet whispers of mommy.
Do you feel this way? Are you willing to admit that sometimes being called mommy just pushes you over the edge? Please let me know I’m not the only one. Share below.
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