How Happy Are You?

The other day I was talking to a close friend of mine, and mentor, and she mentioned that her husband said she has been happier lately. The only thing that’s been different is that she’s taking time out of her schedule to hang out with some girlfriends once a week.  When she told me this it made think about all the things we have discussed about our lives.  As moms, especially working moms, we are challenged with so many things.  And our main concern is making sure we are there for our family.  Making sure we spend enough time with our children, especially when they are young.  We task ourselves with keeping a hot meal on the table for dinner every night (well most nights), as well as keeping our home cleans.  And for some strange reason we tell ourselves that this will make us happy.  But does it really?

I remember when my little one was born I had all kinds of feelings related to being a mom, especially a working mom. When I went back to work I had to create a routine or a schedule just to feel sane (which I highly recommend). I needed to be in control of things and not let things (work, business, children, and husband) control me. It was quite challenging as you may know. But somehow during this process I forgot to enjoy life. Don’t get me wrong. I was happy, at least that’s what I told myself to feel.  My happiness started to revolve around making sure the house was clean, the kids were bathe, laundry was done, and you can only imagine how down I was when all of these things weren’t done.  But it wasn’t until I started making room for things that I was interested in again that real happiness came to me. I mean things that only I did. Things that took me out of the house for a few hours. Things that made me remember I was an individual, a person, a woman. That’s when I heard my husband say something similar. He said “I like this Felicia. The woman I married is back”. Gosh! I didn’t even know she left.

It’s interesting how as we get older we force ourselves to do and act like “adults” or what we feel an adult she act like.  Not realizing that we may be going completely against the things that truly makes us happy. Being an adult means having more responsibility but does a responsible person have to be bland and boring. Is enjoying life irresponsible or means your priorities aren’t right?  The hanging out with friends, going to the bar, pole dancing, or a long walk is not what makes you happy.  Those activities are simply things that allow you to enjoy life.  It helps to take your mind off of your problems if not for a moment so you can really see the bigger picture in life.

So here are a few tips to help you find true happiness again;

1. What did you enjoy doing when you were in college – If you think about it, some of the things that you truely enjoyed when you were younger are the same things taht you will enjoy now.  For example, I LOVE to dance.  I remember being in my dorm room trying to do the dances on the videos.  As I got older I stopped.  I didn’t have time, I was too busy being “responsible” to stop and dance.  Well now I do.  I dance my little heart out.  Whether it’s and a lounge or club with friends or hubby, or in the house with my little one.  I will blast that music and start dancing.
2. What are you doing now that you don’t really enjoy doing – When it comes to marketing your business you learn to keep track of everything.  This is very important because you want to know what works and what doesn’t.  Well the same goes in your life.  What are the things that give you a joyous feeling and what are the things that don’t.  Try to eliminate the things that don’t give you joy.  And this can be a hard thing to do. So if you can’t get rid of it, or outsource it, then find a way to make it fun.  My example is cooking.  I am not fond of it at all. However since my husband has a crazy schedule I do most (if not all) of the cooking at the moment. To help make this task semi enjoyable there are 3 days out of the week I don’t cook. Wednesday is spaghetti night, my older son cooks.  Friday is date night, so the kids have pizza or taco night while hubby and I go out for dinner.  Saturday is just Saturday and I don’t feel like cooking.  The days I do have to cook, I have my little one help me and I’ve been looking online trying to find some recipes that look fun.
3. Get up and start moving – Exercise will do wonders for you in terms of making you happier.  I’ve had some struggles on my weightloss journey but it wasn’t until I started to exercise just because I wanted to have be fit and healthy that I started to feel all the benefits.  Not only did I lose weight, but I started to feel better.  My confidence grew, my skin started to glow and so much more.  These effects started to happen before the scale even started to move.
4. Get out of the house without the family – I cannot stress this enough.  As much as we love our children and our husbands there is nothing like hanging out with the girls or going for a long walk by yourself.  It’s important to have a life outside of your household so you know and understand that this world is bigger than you and your family unit.  About twice a month (last month it was almost once a week) I go out on a Thursday night with my girlfriends. We go out have a drink and do our best to not focus on the house, work, or business.  It is so important to maintain those connections with your girlfriends.  These are the moments that help you to remember that you are more than a wife, and a mom.

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